Family

When I was growing up, I spent a fair amount of time at boarding school. Consequently, I didn't have a particularly close family life and wasn't close to my sister growing up.

As an adult, I therefore decided to "adopt" people as my surrogate brothers and sisters. I am very glad I did this as it has brought me much joy and some excellent friendships.

I mention this today as, at lunch, I saw one of my "brothers". I feel very lucky to know him as he is an extraordinary individual and is very inspirational.

It also makes me feel good to know that I would go to extraordinary lengths to help my family, both real and adopted, should they need it. For some reason I find that very satisfying.

Right, my flight has been called so I will be off now.

Happy 4th July.

Are older women better in bed?

I have given this important topic some thought and have come up with the following pros and cons.

Younger women

Less jaded

Generally more excited about things

BUT

don't know their own mind so much

Older women

More jaded

Less easy to impress

BUT

do know their own minds

might teach you something you don't know.

So experience seems to win the day.

However a friend of mine, W, had a great girlfriend. She was smart, witty and very attractive. However he ended up dumping her because, in his words, "She was too soggy". Mind you, this is from a man who habitually dated strippers and they are proverbially not soggy. Known for their lack of sogginess, in fact.

So experience and a low sogginess quota wins the day

& whilst I think of it, a woman who is comfortable in her own body......

So, in conclusion, I can safely state I have no opinion on the matter.

Busy, busy, busy

I sit in a hotel in New York, listening to the cars honking away and trying to fall asleep. Or is it stay awake? I'm not sure. I now have jetlag on top of my other jetlag and don't know if I am coming or going.

Did a gig for a friend the other night. Used some new DJ software and actually got a playlist of prospective songs together. So I was much happier about my performance.

Now all I need to do is organise more of my music and I am set.

Still needs work

Well,

I played some rare funk, some mainstream house and, very self indulgently for 3pm, some excellent (even if I say so myself) trance.

I don't think the crowd liked the trance that much, but that was OK cos they weren't really listening either.

Still need work on my playlists. Usually I don't make them but my collection has increased a lot recently and that combined with my not getting out much any more has led to me being less familiar with my songs than I should be. So playlists it is........

Let the music lift you up

Tonight I rest.

Tomorrow I DJ

Let's hope it all goes well. There will be Reggae, Rock and Roll, Rap and err...... House Music all day long........

Aging and Impermanence

At some point in one's life, I guess one has to pass an inflection point.

When looking at an attractive lady on the street, she will stop thinking "Who's that hunky, attractive man checking me out? Cool!" and start thinking "I wish that dirty old bastard would stop staring at me".

I'm not saying that this will happen overnight but there must be a point where you start sliding from one to the other.......

I guess it's all about getting old and then dying. Youth and vitality are but a fleeting illusion. 

Word association

In an effort to avoid becoming the size of a house, I keep a variety of "heathy" snacks at my desk at work. 

These include unsalted almonds.

About once a month, my female co-workers amuse themselves with dialogue such as:

"I like your nuts, Mouse. They are not too salty"

"Where are you nuts? Put them in my hand"

etc etc.

All very amusing, I'm sure you'll agree.

That led to a discussion about nuts and the fact that a brazil nut is not a nut, but a fruit

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazil_nuts

& then being of an enquiring frame of mind, I looked up Brazilian which led me to the disambiguation page which led me to 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazilian_waxing

I wasn't expecting pictures.

Given everything I have learned about waxing from Wiki, I now completely understand why you might have a misunderstanding at the salon, especially if the salon workers have English as a second language (thanks for sharing, Evie).

Why would you do this?

There we all were, Onsen finished, in the tiny, tiny bar next to the UWannaDie Lodge for a bit of Apres Ski.

The bar has 2 distinguishing features. There is a large model helicopter hanging from the ceiling. The other is the gorgeous home made valve amp used to play music in the bar. 

Some number of  beers later, we ended up with a young lady lying on the table, midriff bared, belly button pointed at the ceiling. I then watched in disbelief as my friend C proceeded to snort vodka from her, admittedly very shapely, belly button. Usually it was whipped cream or chocolate sauce being licked off midriffs, so this was a bit of a departure.

I watched C carefully to see what happened. His head didn't fall off or anything drastic. But, his eyes went from a "with it" look to a "nobody's home"  look in a heartbeat. He then had to be taken away and put to bed. 

Oh dear, oh dear.

Some more beer later, my friend A ended up being doused in paraffin. It is still not clear to me to this day, why the individual concerned poured paraffin all over her... in a bar.   People can die from accidentally being set on fire after stuff like that.

So, all in all, an evening of "Why would you do this" moments.

Hair

No not the musical.

As I was walking down the street, (not the Dr Feelgood song, http://www.drfeelgood.de/zlooking.htm ) yesterday, I was behind a girl who clearly hadn't shaved her legs for some time. 

This got me thinking about women and body hair. Before the advent of disposable razors, I am assuming that women didn't shave their legs. So at some point, someone must have decided it was a good thing that women have smooth legs. And now I see that quite a lot of women shave their arms also. Who decided that arm hair was bad and had to go?

Then I started thinking about what's happening with boys. In the 80's the David Hasselhoff and Magnum PI look meant a hairy chest. If we look at your average Armaini / GQ male model now, there's usually not a chest hair to be seen. 

I read an article the other week about women shaving their pudenda and apparently over 25% of women aged 18-25 do this these days (admittedly for a variety of reasons ranging from "It makes me feel clean" to "I find it sexy" ). Who decided that no hair, or your playboy landing strip was a good idea? 

Perhaps it's all bound up inextricably with the mystery that is fashion.

If anyone wants to shed some light on the "all body hair is bad" thing, please feel free. I realise I could do some research on the net but I never said I wasn't lazy.

Onsen mishap

I once went skiing in Japan with a bunch of friends and a Newbie to Japan. We shall call him Green George. Green cos he had never been outside of the US of A.

One of the best things about the Japanese skiing experience is the Onsen afterwards. The big, hot communal bath, the floating sake tray, the prospect of REALLY GOOD Japanese food to come, it's all good.

This particular Onsen had a sulphur theme (rotten egg smell etc etc).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onsen

So we are all sitting in the Onsen, snow falling on our heads, on account of this bath being outside, when GG suddenly gargles some of the bathwater, howls, spits it out and says "Guys, why didn't you warn me the water was full of sulphur?"

Well, GG because

1) of the rotten egg smell

but more importantly

2) it never occurred to us that you would gargle water in a communal bath.

Doh!

Next Japan story will be tales of tequila and near-death experiences in the helicopter bar.......

 

Not HNT, not even HNMonday

I found out about HNT quite recently.

It reminded me of one of my favourite quotes from this film (incidentally the best film ever...)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0261392/

Jay: What the fuck is the Internet?
Holden: The Internet is a communication tool used the world over where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography with one another.

Now HNT isn't porn. However the internet is a communication tool which you can use to get semi-naked in front of lots of people who don't know you in realspace. Cool, huh, especially if you are a bit of an exhibitionist.

"Soon to be departing these fair shores Evie" mentioned that I should do something with my back, seeing as how I was boasting about it the other week. Well, she totally called my bluff and whilst I spend the next year hauling my sorry ass down the gym to try and look like an extra in "300" I suggest you go have a look here in the meantime

http://www.mapplethorpe.org/malenudes10.html

Reggae from the best film in the world ever!

And here is a great song from the best film in the world, ever!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_sIV2Rydsw

I think I will go and play this on my bass.......

Front of the class

Well, today I went to Yoga and was late. So I had to be at the front.

No fields of Lycra as far as the eye can see for me today.

On the other hand, the girls got to see a lot of my superbly muscled back. 

So it all karmically balances out in the end or something.

& for those of you who want to know where I used to sit at school, it was in the back row on the right hand side. I am right handed so the right hand side of the classroom was good and often there was space between desks so you could have a clear view of the board, despite being at the back. Also you could tilt your chair back against the back wall and rest your head during the duller moments, all very restful.....

Another first

Yesterday I got a (very small) bug in my eye.

For the first time in my life, I touched my eyeball, after washing my hands, of course. 

This is a huge thing for me. I have never had to wear contacts or anything and get very uncomfortable if there is an issue with eyes. So actually fishing a piece of dead bug off my eyeball was very challenging for me. However I rose to the challenge and everything is fine now (for me that is, not the bug).

Yoga triumph

& while I am still sat here on the sofa, I will mention my Yoga triumph.

I go to yoga cos

a) my physio tells me to and 

b) I find it actually helps and

c) it does seem to relax me.

I am useless in an epic way but I am getting slowly better and certainly no worse. I will take that.

In any event, our instructor got us to do some new funky arm balance pose where you shoved a leg on your elbow and then lifted your other leg off the ground. I had never attempted it before and, once I had fallen over twice, actually managed to hold the pose.

I did something today I have never done before. 

And that's not a bad way to end the day

What's in a case?

All my guitars are in their travel cases post move. 

This means I haven't picked up a guitar in weeks and my NYR of playing guitar every day has gone down the toilet.

The miniscule effort involved in taking them out of their cases and putting them on stands has completely prevented me from playing them.

Must....get.......off........sofa..........

Gah..... can't do it. 

Maybe tomorrow

GRRRRRRRRRR

Fucking fucking autotoll!

Autotoll is a magic box which allows you to use toll roads and have the cost automatically deducted as you go through the (unmanned) toll booth at 40kmh.

I would like to own an Autotoll card. However the website lets me fill in all my details and then does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING when I press the send button.

The website also lists  petrol stations (that's Gas Stations for any Americans reading, should there be any) where you can supposedly buy them also. Can you buy them? Can you MY ASS!

I think I will have to resort to snail mail because when you ring the helpline up, you can never, ever speak to a real person.

Press 3 now if you would like some more rant or # to return to the previous menu.

First Aid

I passed my First Aid Exam.

I am very excited and now slightly less ill informed about what to do in case of injury.

Hurrah!

Getting more sorted

Right,

Things are all calming down.

Boat relocated and in boat bag.

Still no curtains.

Have worked out how to get to my new apt from Central and vice versa.

Next weekend is bike restoration weekend.....

Unsettled

I am unsettled.

Many things have changed for me over the last week.

I have

1) Moved desk at work (no biggie that one admittedly

2) Moved apartment

3) Arranged to move my boat (I actually have to do that tomorrow)

4) Bought a new second hand car....

I am feeling unsettled as I sit here in my new place, with no curtains.......

However this is stupid as I am so much better off than so many people and really have nothing to worry about.

I have a theory that each individual has a natural level of worry. So if a worrier has enough to eat, somewhere nice to live, a good job, good health etc, he or she will worry about something relatively trivial instead.

Hmmmm. Perhaps I should revisit that when I have more time.

But must get on, got the TV working, got the wireless base station working, now time to get the PC going....

Laters (as my Blog friend Nicey would say)

Moving

It's all change in the House of Mouse.

1) Moved desks at work on Friday.

2) Will be moving my boat this coming weekend to new storage place

3) Will be moving flat on Thurs and Fri of this coming week.

So everything is changing, pretty much.

Am I stressed about this? Errr, well, yes, quite a lot actually. & things aren't being helped my my incredible fatigue (due I believe  to a disgusting case of cold/cough I had last week that I haven't shaken off fully).

Luckily it's the HK 7's this weekend, so whilst everyone else is distracted by the beer and Naughty Policewomen (for men) and beer and large-thighed rugby players (for women), I will be either on the water or walking aimlessly around my flat trying to work out where the fuck all my stuff is.

However new flat is light, sunny and just renovated so I should enjoy living there.

& whilst I think of it, a very happy UK Mother's Day to everyone (Of course it's sometime in April in HK but try explaining that to your UK based mother....)

Ciao for now.

& speaking of

Shit, work's all a bit shit. So I will do what I usually do when depressed about work and go and watch a little bit of "We were soldiers". Gives me a bit of perspective on my like.

And as another aside, I spare a thought for Natasha Richardson and her family and friends. May she rest in peace.

Japan trip - Part 2

Finally, central Tokyo and a decent karaoke bar.

My song - Angels - Robbie Williams.

The crowd liked the song, but were divided on my sexuality. Some thought I must be gay cos I can sing at least passably well. Others, like the lady who grabbed my ass when I was at the bar, seemed to think otherwise.

As an aside, Karaoke Bars in HK are shit, shit, shit and I'm never going to one again after the last time (summer 2008).

Gah!

Japan trip - Part 1

I met up with my long time friend W and her lovely husband G on Saturday night in Tokyo. During the course of a somewhat epic evening, W said I would be unable to unhook R's bra with one hand. Of course I said I would be able to but chose not to.

Well, to cut a long story short, I had to put up or shut up and deftly popped the back open with one hand. Nobody was more surprised than me, given that I hadn't had to do that for a long long time.

Apparently it's like riding a bike. Who knew?

First Aid

My company, in an unexpected gesture for a MNC, asked for volunteers to do a St John's Ambulance First Aid Course a little while ago.

I signed up because as well as being very handsome and intelligent, I also

a) do a lot of sports outdoors  where people might get broken  limbs etc or hypothermia

b) think it's  a good idea to be able to help, were someone to start choking, going blue etc etc in front of you.

As an added bonus I got to go learn during company time every thursday in Feb. Result!

But now the fun and games are over and I have my exam tomorrow. So I should be revising.

But before I go, top 3 things I have learnt on the course are:

1) Keep severed body parts at 4 degrees C for maximum preservation (& don't let them come into direct contact with the ice)

2) Blood is made up of 55% plasma

3) Automated external defibrillators are very cool.

My Dad

Was just talking to my Mum about my Dad. He died when I was 18 years old and I still miss him all these years later.

Best film of all time ... ever

The best film of all time ever is.....

here

With '000s of quotable quotes, a great story and lots and lots of excitement, it's hard to beat.

"Hot as hell in here"

"Yeah man, but it's a dry heat!"

Nights out that pay for themselves

They don't happen very often......

But when the do, it is excellent.

There was once a bar, with a wall, and an impromptu stage and my friends and I would get up there and dance, dance for the crowd. And on one huge night out many young ladies stuffed a large quantity of folding type money into the waistbands of our Calvins.

I got home, took off my smalls and all sorts of money that I'd missed earlier fell out.

aha...

I am Randy Jackson

I was watching mumblemumblemumble this evening and Randy said EXACTLY what I said but 3 seconds later.

So, I must be Randy Jackson!  Yeah, Dog!

Love is on my mind

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2G8rbjZq18&feature=PlayList&p=DCCEAE07B53A1D1E&playnext=1&index=24

A rose by any other name costs as much

Hmmm, I always get a little grumpy around this time of year. The crass commercialism gets me down a bit. 

Incredibly expensive roses, bad service in over-crowded restaurants etc etc.

The doesn't seem to be a Valentine equivalent of "Bah, Humbug!" but if there were, I'd be using it.

Interestingly enough, Japan has something called White Day. This is a month after Valentine's Day (was going to abbreviate to VD but then, unaccountably, decided not to). The boys give gifts to the girls who bought them stuff a month earlier. So the girls have to show their cards first, all perfectly normal and to be expected in Japan.

The thing that makes me laugh is that this new day was invented in 1978 by the national confectionary industry association. Bloody Hell!

I would post the Wikipedia link but my stupid browser won't let me. Google "white day" if you are interested enough.

Bah, Humbug!

I will kill your monstah!

Beowulf. It's a bad film with Ray Winstone.

However not as bad as "Monster Ark" (which doesn't have Ray in it, just to be clear).

Much better films with Ray in are:

"Love, Honour & Obey"

"Scum"

& of course

"Sexy Beast" which completely changed the way I view Ben Kingsley.

Punctuality is a virtue

One of my friends, an American, was getting married to another of my friends, a Japanese lady. They decided to get married in Maui as people often do in these situations. It's half way between the US of A and Nihon. It's nice. The weather is usually very good and there a plethora of very nice hotels.

A whole bunch of people were invited and I and my very good friend H-Dog travelled down together. Now H-Dog looks a bit like David Bowie and was sporting a ponytail at the time. It should be noted that looking like the Great White Duke in Japan is a very good thing if you want to attract the attention of the local ladies. Add to that an excellent command of the Japanese language and an ability to make the girls laugh, whatever their nationality, and you have a man who women want to be with.

None of this seemed obvious to any of the airport security personnel we had to contend with on our trip down there. They seemed to see a gay couple traveling together which, apparently they didn't like. I have never been pulled out of  a security queue and had the contents of my luggage searched with such frequency before or since. 

We arrive in Maui having spent the flight over (+ interchange in Honolulu International Airport) indulging in the spirit of air travel, and also the wine and beer of air travel. But there was trouble in paradise. The man with the sign saying "A MOUSE" was conspicuous by his absence in the arrival hall and we had to take a taxi to the Grand Marriott. I was quite upset about this as there is nothing that says "Welcome" to me more than a nice man waiting to pick up your luggage and drive you to your hotel without any hassle.

My temper was considerably improved by the presence of sea kayaks at the resort and this led me to be standing, post paddle, in my board shorts and rashie, carbon fiber paddle in hand watching the hotel staff decorate the gazebo on the lawn for my friends' wedding.  The time 4:30pm. Start of wedding 5:00pm.

Now, I have never and I mean NEVER been to a wedding which started even remotely on time. After a brisk run back to my hotel room (yes, shared with Mr Dog, the whole gay boys on tour theme continuing strong) and a shower, I was stood in the room shouting at room service about the lack of a car to pick us up at the airport. Time 4:57pm.

A brisk walk down to the lawn saw us arrive and be seated 30 seconds before they started playing "Here comes the Bride". Time 5:03pm.

Lesson 1 - Hotel weddings always start on time.  Who knew?

The lawn was a wonderful place. The sun was shining and it was a fine place to be in a pair of board shorts and a rashie. It wasn't so fine being in a suit and tie. In fact, it was a wee bit on the hot side. I had wisely chosen to wear  a blue shirt for the wedding. As the wedding finished and we all retired to the drinks table for a hard earned champagne, it became apparent that I could not take my jacket off even though the wedding was over. I was sopping, my shirt was sopping and definitively a very different color of blue from the bits that weren't sopping. I was trapped in a jacket until I managed to cool down a bit and dry out. Disaster.

Lesson 2 - Wear a white shirt to weddings which will be hot.

Luckily a jug of iced water, some shade and the odd flute of champagne allowed me to regain my composure and with a loosened tie and a song in my heart, I set off to make sure the DJ equipment and sound system had arrived.

Art and real life

Went to see "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" last night. I thought it was a good film. One of the signs of a good film for me is that I am still thinking about it the next day.

It has me thinking about the impermanence of life, its ultimate futility and the challenges associated with knowing this and still trying to live a life that is full of meaning (however you might judge that).

As an aside, I bumped into 3 groups of people I know as everyone was leaving the cinema. HK is a small place, but I think we all know that.

iPod issues

The other day Madam Mouse and I got into a cab.  We had your standard issue Cantonese man with a blocked sinus. However he had the radio turned on low and was listening to some beautiful classical music.  After some hard listening, I realised it was Beethoven's 9th (which I really like).

We got out of the cab, thankful that the cabdriver had eschewed the usual diet of wailing cantopop (which I don't like at all) and felt quite well disposed to him despite the staggering amount of sniffing that had gone on.

In a very unsettling way, the music followed us and it was at that point I discovered I had turned my iPod on in my pocket. It was my music after all.

Aha ahahahaha.

But apparently I am not alone in doing this, so I now feel much better about the whole thing

Elephants

Here is poem I wrote some time ago. It's chief virtue is its brevity.

Elephants

Tru' de jungle do dey go
See the eeele-phants go to and fro
Blimy, dem tings are huge, mon.

Socks

Socks are marvelous things.

I used to take them for granted until I started spending a lot of time hiking. A good pair of boots and a good, and very importantly dry, pair of socks are absolutely vital. My father (who used to be in the Army) was adamant about this point. I have to say he was spot on.

There are all sorts of things to do with socks. You can, of course, wear them. You can roll them into a ball and throw them at people. You can roll one up and put it inside the other one (if they are long sports socks) and create the schoolboy equivalent of a mace. If you are really bored, you can make very bad hand puppets.

But you can also take them off. I think there is a whole episode of Coupling that discusses the "sock zone" which is where a man unfortunately takes off his trousers before his socks and then stands there, in his undies and socks. Even if you have a physique that you can smash walnuts on, it is difficult to look good in this situation.

I was Djing at a wedding once. It was going well at the afterparty and the amount of clothing being worn was on the decease. My friend H came over and noticed I was wearing neither shoes nor socks and inquired why. I merely pointed to the man standing on a chair, trying to take both his trousers and socks off at the same time and said "Sock zone".

Brass Monkey Weather

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brass_monkey_(colloquial_expression)

Irrespective of where it came from, the phrase is applicable today. We all know that for the same temperature it seems much colder in HK than in, say, Europe. I know my bedroom is bloody freezing. 'Nuff said

Month of Bass

In a concerted effort to live up to one of my New Year Resolutions ( Number of cigarettes smoked this year 0.0. Unfortunately not one of my NYRs), I have been playing bass almost every day.

Here is a picture of my Kramer 450B. It's an old school bass with a big aluminium plate in the neck.

I love it dearly and I bought it back in the day when I was at Uni and cost me a significant portion of my net worth at the time.

It has a very warm sound and I love playing funk with it.

Physics games

Happy New Year everyone.

This website has been absorbing a lot of my free time. 

www.fantasticcontraption.com

More later this week.